Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
fact: I now appreciate my drunken winter self even more. I just found $20 in my winter coat with a note that says keep yourself warm next winter. I am awesome.
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
Note to self: I can rip apart her vagina and she'll still cuddle with me, but if I steal her Chapstick she'll murder me !?
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