white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
You asked the waitress for a vasectomy and handed her a butter knife, like you were ordering something from the menu
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
I just spent the past twenty minutes checking out a girl who turned out to be a mannequin. I need AA.
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
Randomize
