everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
Ok. In one sink is a hairdrier. Still plugged in. The other is filled with broken glass. What do I do?!
Nvm. Bloody hand trumps dead. Also, where is gauze.
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
Recently successful and happy relationships are at an all time high now that you are no longer fucking so many peoples girlfriends. You alone have changed the mating patterns in the lower half of our county.
You need to stop relating my life to your schoolwork. But tell my girlfriend that she'd be proud.
I don't remember much of last night. But I woke up with very apologetic texts from him this morning so apparently I didn't get laid. Which is stupid.
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
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