I don't know what I could have possibly done in a past life to deserve watching my boyfriend projectile vomit margaritas and probs blood while completely naked.
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
I woke up on your bathroom floor, i used your towel I found laying on the floor as a cape to get to your bed. I thought it would help me walk straight if I looked like a superhero
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
And somehow in between all the vomitting you managed to mumble "Well this is attractive!" And I swear that's when I fell in love. Best. First. Date. Ever!
I gotta do like a month's worth of catch-up personal hygiene today in prep for Christmas so extended family doesn't ask if I'm depressed.
Randomize
