i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
One of my students in my 8am class brought me a Tim Hortons cup with a bloody Mary in it. Clearly, I didn't manage to look not drunk when I ran into him at Denny's at 4am. Who decided to let me teach?
I just threw out a whole Christmas ham, 12 positive pregnancy tests, 3 empty vodka bottles and by ex boyfriends Latina porn collection in the same garbage bag. The homeless person who goes through the bins tonight knows I have nothing left to loose.
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
I'm sorry you had to knock him out on your birthday. But that also means I won the bet that you'd hit someone so you owe me 40. dollars
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