okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
I got drunk and tried to make special rice krispie treats, but I made a mess and they were all stuck to my hands, so I just decided to eat my way out of the catastrophe and I think shit's about to get even weirder than usual.
I'm dedicating this beer to drunk texting
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
Randomize
