i tried to light my apt on fire. reasons why drunks and women should not cook
my grandmother thought she vaccuumed up a quarter so she made me open the bag, dump it out on her front lawn, and dig through it. no quarter.
she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
My 40 year old neighbors are throwing a party for their eight year old niece's birthday. It's 1am and they're still partying hard. Harder than me. It's Saturday. Just say it, I'm a disgrace to the generation.
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
If there's one thing I think I could really excel it, it's curating a midlife crisis
Randomize
