Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
I have grass duct taped all over my body
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
He was too drunk, and my mother and I ended up babysitting him. He told her I have amazing mouth skills, and that I love the "chorizo" he feeds me. All she said was "And on the list of 30 things you never want to hear about your daughter..." while gripping the steering wheel.Please just fucking kill me now.
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
Randomize
