I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
Client visitor days are the worst. If I have to wear a tie and can be hungover at least have the decency to find some more attractive visitors
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
Randomize
