Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
We found you passed out clutching your purse. There was 16oz of unopened cheddar cheese inside. You just kept saying SALSA YES.
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
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