wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?
See you tonight.
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
I’m also apparently a very socialist drunk now
Instead of a horny one. All I want to fuck is capitalism these days.
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