I was just at the urinal, started to go, then farted, then said oh yea out loud, then heard someone move in the stall behind me
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
I tried to high-five the cop last night. he just looked at my raised hand and told me to go to bed.
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
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