im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
Don't be alarmed at the kitchen mess. I had to shoot the fire extinguisher on the toaster oven, one quick blast. It was a matter of safe over sorry.
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
but seriously, if you see a redhead running down the street tonight in a carrot costume, call 911. He's tripping hard.
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
Randomize
