Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
AHHHHHHHHH. I LEFT A GLASS NEXT TO ME WHEN I FELL ASLEEP I'M SO SURE IT WAS WATER BUT NOW IT'S VODKA JESUS MADE A STOP
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
just got back. in my inebriated state i broke an ugly lamp and was sent to the store (still drunk) to get a new one. just spent last half hour in isle 3 of dollar general surounded by more ugly lamps and trying not to throw up on each and every single one.
Randomize
