i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
Apparently they want to see what I've been working on for the last three months. Can I just hand them a bunch of empty fifths?
Tempting. But I already used the alcohol poisoning excuse at work this month. No way he would believe it a second time...
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
you were passed out so I asked you what my name was and you opened your eyes and yelled "ricotta cheese"
no way
that's when i decided you were gonna be okay
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
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