Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
Is this like a preordered booty call?
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
She left a cookie cake on my porch, and the frosting reads "I'm sorry". She left me an I'm-sorry-for-punching-you-in-the-face cake.
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
Randomize
