im going to forcibly insert an angry corn snake into his urethra
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
Yeah I would come and meet you but there's 3 polish girls yelling at a drunk polish guy in the carpark outside. They just dumped a whole pizza over his head and I want to see where this ends...
So I just went to clothing optional bar
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
I had to cum in my sink.
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
Randomize
