So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
I called my mom while I was blackout drunk, and told her I was drunk, safe, and happy. But really, I was just drunk.
1) break up with him. 2) feel bad. 3) fuck some other guy. 4) feel better. Boom! Life plan. You're welcome.
I've been drunk texting you for weeks, and you watched me puke outside your house... I say it's time we meet in person.
Randomize
