just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
If I had KNOWN you and mom were coming to visit, I wouldn't have passed out in the frat. This is why I hate surprises.
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
found a note from drunk me saying "don't worry i fed the mice". WHAT MICE?
Randomize
