I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
I knew the cheap date at Taco Bell would backfire because it makes even the most pre-cautious girls involuntary fart in public
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
Like you know your sex life is in a downward spiral when your best friend offers to sext you from Ireland
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
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