so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
So this text is costing me two dollars because I'm out of the country, but I just wanted to let you know it went well with the stripper last night
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
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