Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
I hear fucking Christmas music. I'm going to find fucking Santa and tell him to suck a dick and shut up for the next month
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
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