I'm lost and stupid without you.
Con: they had to cauterize my wound twice. Pro: The docs agreed I'll be able to get really drunk tonight since I've lost so much blood.
sound pretty economical
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
i dont even know how to be here
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
My uncrustable is thawing in my straightener
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
I said "I am wrapped in the Cocoon Of Comfort! You should go." He started to argue and I yelled "COCOON OF COMFORT!!!" silencing him
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
Randomize
