this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
party gras won. party gras always wins.
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
Taking care of drunk people fulfills my need to be a mother
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
Randomize
