on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
The magic cards should have been the first clue. The comments that I have "amazing birthing hips" and that I'm "beautiful in a child bearing sort of way just sealed his fate.
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
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