Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
Girls should come with a carfax report
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
my biography would be titled "haunting truths and dick jokes: a tale of love, loss, and masturbation."
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
honestly, fuck you guys. i'm gonna get drunk by myself
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