She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
Please don't be alarmed by the blood on my arms and phone in the morning. It's not mine.
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
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