Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
I asked my boss to leave early for a booty call. She said yes. See.... everyone sees it's important I get laid.
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
I still have a little drunk in my system
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
Randomize
