worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
im pretty sure that there was a mint leaf in my poop this morning. i love mojito season.
stranger just walked up to the fridge at the party, took the hawaiin punch out, drank it straight from the bottle, looked at everyone who stared in awe and said "im fucking thirsty" and put it back.
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
I told him I'd go cook him breakfast, but ended up passing out on the kitchen floor in the fetal position spooning the dog
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
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