Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours
worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
Dude there's ten thousand dollars worth of damage to the kids house and three thousand in stolen property and his dog is missing he is pissed
If I give him back his dog do you think he'll invite me to the next party
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
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