Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
seriously iPhone. stop autocorrecting all my fucks into ducks. you're making all my strong worded texts look harmless and adorable.
a kid in a transformers shirt tried to pick me up last night at work. he also rolled up on a bicycle, the kind with pedals. do i look that easy?
what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
Randomize
