so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
I just realized I use Twitter to keep of track of when I get drunk.
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
Randomize
