is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
You dont lie about slip and slides
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
Have you ever realized how cool bread is? Like so many things taste good on it. Like its crazy to think that peanut butter and turkey can both taste good on the same thing.
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
I didn't know your ex looked like a male Khloe Kardashian?
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with someone crawling around my carpet for 3 hours trying to pick up spilled coke...
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with ME crawling around your carpet for 3 hours trying to save my investment.
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
Randomize
