dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
you know your drunk when 7 soccer players cant catch up to a tranny in high heels who just stole your wallet
i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawnmower thinking of you
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
Randomize
