"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
I was cleaning up my drunken mess and I found my ID in a cereal box
Do you know how awkward it is to call the bar from last night and ask if they found my leggings?
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
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