Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
I five year old is judging me because I just opened a bottle of Sam Adams with my teeth before 8am
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake 👌
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
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