She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
I just spent all my babysitting money on red cups and beer.
People still let you watch their kids?
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
The thing is that despite the high paying career and the increased responsibility, my life hasn't changed that much. Only instead of blacking out on $2 wells at some dive I blackout on top shelf martinis in a suit. Oh and only on Fri & Sat nights. Being 30 doesn't suck as bad as everyone led me to believe.
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
I live vicariously through you. No one mistakes me for a hooker anymore. I look like a stay at home mom of three. On bad days of four.
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
My farts smell like burning tires and false courage
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
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