she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
Randomize
