I hate it when you make eye contact with someone bcs you are about to make fun of them and they take it as a hint to come hit on you.
I threw up so much beer last night that my puke had a nice head on it.
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
He sent me a 7 minute voicemail of him playing wonderwall on the acoustic guitar I'm not even kidding did he seriously think that would work
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
Randomize
