my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
He snuck into some random hotel's continental breakfast at 3 AM and then passed out on a bench in the lobby. When the cops found him they made him empty out his pockets. No phone, no ID just muffins.
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
I know you think I'm being paranoid, but can you please make sure Danny doesn't rub my wedding invitation on his balls?
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
Randomize
