You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
I was the king of the handle race. My team finished it in 56 minutes.
you don't get it. Nobody wins a handle race. there just degrees of losing.
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
How do I cancel buying spotify premium for two homeless people?
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
Randomize
