I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
we're about an hour out, how's the weather?
cloudy with a chance of strippers and cocaine, you're favorite. welcome home.
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
The only alcohol in the house was a bottle of Sherry. It's like cough syrup that I shotgunned off Strawberry Shortcake's ass.
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
Apparently at some point last night someone gave me tequila. There was a few shots left when I woke up so that was breakfast. This is a good birthday
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
Randomize
