its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
disregard all texts ive sent you minus taco motherfucking bell
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
Randomize
