UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
Jumanji is 1000% better stoned while cooking breakfast.
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
Randomize
