Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
Randomize
