it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
Randomize
