dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
I think I am morally bankrupt
I dont have enough money in my bank account to buy a pregnancy test. this wouldnt be the first time ive had to steal one either...
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
Randomize
