I like to think it a success when the cops are called
she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
She puked in the bank of America parking lot? Awesome.
Yeah, figured I'd deposit my check while we were there.
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
i just wrote an ode to an enchilada dorito. i'll need that pregnancy test now please.
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
Randomize
