do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
just got out of a noise viloation because the cop recognized my roomate as his favorite chipotle burrito roller. just another reason I love ritos
where does the pee come out of this thing
i think a pirate just stole the rest of our fucking beer. what an appropriate costume.
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
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