he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
Try explaining "the nature of your relationship" to a cop when your fuck buddy vandalized your car. Priceless.
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
Please don't give away my fajitas
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
Randomize
